Two Generations of Learning: A Mother and Her Son Reflect on Student Parenthood
Student parents are not alone in their college journeys. When parenting students pursue higher education, it is a family affair. Dinner tables become shared homework spaces. Children accompany their parents to class or school functions. Calendars fill with extracurriculars for both parents and children. Even time focused on schooling and survival might regularly mean choosing to sacrifice precious family time. How often do we ask how the children of student parents interpret and experience these realities? In this three-part series, the SPARK Collaborative asked current and former student parents to reflect with their children about their time in school. These interviews underscore the importance of creating systems that empower student parents and their families.
Read the first installment featuring Leasie Williams and her son Ja'Quante Jackson HERE.
Kate (Mom):
I have a relatively uncommon experience becoming a mom—I am mother to two sons, born 20 years apart. I was 17 when I had Logan and 37 when I had Theo. At 17, I had big dreams that I wanted to accomplish, though I was told I wouldn’t be able to achieve them as a teen parent. The stigma placed on young parents is heavy, and I carried the weight of others’ judgments for many years. At the same time, I felt an innate sense of responsibility. This responsibility, coupled with the loss of a close sister, only deepened my resolve to pursue education so I could make a meaningful contribution and be a role model for my son.
With Theo nearing his first birthday, I am grateful to have the opportunity for such a unique comparison.
With Logan—I was driven and so focused on achieving, finishing college, and building a future for us. With Theo, that education is behind me, and I have more space to simply be present. That contrast brings both gratitude and guilt. I am grateful for the extra time I can give Theo, but I also feel guilty that I could not offer the same level of presence to Logan when he was small.
Balancing parenting, work, and college as a teen mom left little room for balance. I relied on Medicaid insurance, SNAP, and other public food benefits, but strict work requirements meant trading time to care for my son. I worked, went to school, and parented on the same day. Something had to give, and sometimes that was my time to be fully present with Logan.
Still, I have learned there is always room for repair. While it was impossible to perfectly juggle everything, I have been able to return to that relationship with honesty and love. Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up for repair, doing the work to apologize, and then showing up again and again.
Last month, my boys celebrated milestone birthdays. As I reflect, I feel a deep sense of pride. I am proud of what I have accomplished and the education I pursued, which allows me to improve the lives of student parents and young parents. And I am proud of my relationship with Logan and the bond we share. I could not always give him the time I wished, but today I have the chance to invest in a relationship that is strong, supportive, and loving—with my first companion on this journey of learning and mothering.
Logan (Son):
Being extremely young while watching my mother go through her college path definitely had its ups and downs. Watching my parents split up was a challenge for me and her to overcome. Then watching my mom go to school while maintaining being a parent was nothing short of extraordinary. I wasn’t the easiest to raise, but she never failed to mother and create a path that has always felt obtainable for me, which was going to college or finding my passions. I remember waking up through the night and seeing my mom plugging away at her education. She was up late at night, then woke me up in the morning, got me to school on time, went to work, picked me up from school, fed me, helped me with homework, then worked on her homework. It was very impressive to see her balance all of that and be resilient. This has benefited me by being able to add those qualities to my life while also teaching me how to strive toward my goals and create goals that push the boundaries of dreams.
It was hard for me to grasp the entirety of what she was trying to accomplish being a student parent. This led to some struggles and conflicts that ended up in tears on both ends. These ultimately made our bond and love for one another stronger. I was extremely stubborn and wished I could go back to grasp the opportunities I was given by my mom. An example of that would have been trying harder in school and trying to understand why I had to move away from my dad. She was a student parent, which created some problems in our family life. We were both young, trying to figure out the world. It led to issues with us seeing eye to eye about some things because it felt like there was a little disconnect between us. We were both trying to do it on our own when we both should’ve used each other's resources to help each other. There were some nights she would come home frustrated and have to help me with stuff I was frustrated about. This led to us not getting what we had hoped to get out of helping each other. We would both be trying to work on our school work, which I was reluctant to do. She was working on her schoolwork as well, then I would get frustrated and wanted to be done with my stuff. She would try to come and help, which made me more frustrated and then I’d be snappy with what I was saying. Which led to my mom getting frustrated too.
There was also a lot of good to come from these situations as well. We both learned life lessons at a young age. She taught me so much by the way she would carry herself through the days that seemed like nothing good could come from them. She taught me the most about resilience, love, and goal setting. Those things have been applied to my life day in and day out.
To summarize, having a student parent as a mom—even though times got extremely hard, we always kept pushing through the hard times. It’s hard not knowing what’s going to happen in the future, but all we can truly focus on are the moments with the people we surround ourselves and our children with. Ultimately, it helped me by teaching me—push yourself to become the best version you can be so that you can make a difference in your life or someone else’s.
Questions to Open Discussion with Your Children about the Impact of Being a Student Parent
- What do you remember most about me being in school while also being your parent?
- Were there moments that stood out to you as especially hard or inspiring?
- Were there times when you wished things could have been different?
- Did seeing me study or work hard for my education ever influence how you think about
- your own goals?
- How do you think my being a student parent shaped our family life? Do you feel like it taught you anything about resilience, balance, or priorities?
- If you tell someone else about your experience of having a student parent, what do you want them to know?
- What advice would you give to other kids whose parents are going to school? (Think of
- elementary-school kids, middle-schoolers, and high-schoolers)